What About The Way You Love Me.

I miss you. Something wild.
My lips could never utter such a thing due to pride and such but this is whats best for us. This time... I wanna make sure I'm going into something with my heart and my mind and not just wanting to be happy. I wanna be happy and become happier... and slowly I'm thinking about things and way to make myself happy. This process is a long one but I think I'll make it.. if you are even wiling to sit by and wait.

The fear though... that another may roll up on me outta the clear blue sky does scare me a bit. What if doing this will enable another to get close to me? But why would I want another close to me seeing as how every other dude failed? why grant someone the chance at... nothing? I'm not planning on it but hey... shit tend to always happen wild when it's me for some reason.

Damn.. this is just a bit much a confession though.. I'm looking like a punk ass right about now.. Not liking that one bit there buddy.

I was thinking about my past relationships today...
and what were some of the things that made me unhappy. What I came to was this common flaw in the men that I choose: honesty.
Like i know that I could be honesty with them but not fully honest just as much as they are not honest with me. I love when a man can say "Hey baby this is m and who I am but you gonna still love me for it" I love when a man can speak on his own flaws...because I tend to do that same without a care.

Maybe I'm looking for my match and never found it... wait.. I did.... but I blew it anyways.. so search again I will another day.

But still.. and the end of the day I actually miss you.
And thats all I have to say right about now.

Edit: and I don't like that I've actually written some pretty poetry these past days and you ignore them. it bothers me because you know I speak better on paper!
Fucktard.