Mind Made Up.

Listen to Marvin playing slowly along with this blog.
You heard what he said in the beginning.

I was loving you
I was really loving you baby
Still in love with you baby

It's a fact that even when I say your name my heart tens to flutter and shift a bit more than most.
*sigh*

I woke this morning and thought you were here with me...

but you wasn't...

I was holding myself again.

On this quest for happiness I see you yet again in the pathway...
this time.. instead of going around you and avoiding what could be...
I'm giving up. Not really giving up in a bad way but giving into my heart and finally learning to love fully... because for some reason with noone else can I be that adorable big eyed little brat with sugar kisses and hugs..

Just don't feel right....they don't hold me the way you have
They just don't cut it.. even though I can love them ... want to be with them and all...
still.. because of my undecided heart... me and another can't get anywhere if I'm still thinking and loving you.
Still some ho he wants to be here...
knowing...I can't love him...
and this will be over faster than he knows it.


I was told that I changed.. I used to love hard and keep my brick wall up.
But as of late I've been cold hearted.. distant.. unwilling to love.. emotionless (more than ever) and many other things.

These past years changed me and may not be for the better but this is who I am.
Although I mellow out alot more that before.. not sounding all g'd up.. and I act more like a lady now.

Yo I even wear heels a bit more these days.
(I know you finna be like WOW)
i STIL HAVE MY J'S THOUGH!

I've been many things you wouldn't even imagine kid... nor thought i had the heart to be.

I'm not saying ya name and some things have been altered in this blog because there are people looking but I'm sure when you read this...you will know it's for you.

But.. soon I'll be loving you.. that is when you return

and still be willing.