Madness *Roundabout Smiley*

Madness.
This weekend I learned more about some people than I thought I ever would.

You ever stop talking to someone like...ina friendly flirty.." this could be something" type way and feel like you breaking up with someone? I mean my gosh...I felt like that. It's was like weird. But I think everything is fine now...I guess the shock of me pulling away so fast is what got him. He will be a okay.....I hope and pray. I still got love for him doe. Suddenly around the time I'm pulling away from someone guess who pops up and just steals me to the side. Yups...him. lol. I mean.....after all this time he is like all about me. WTF? lol. This shit wasn't planned but homie thought I was pulling away for the next cat. it was more like I was pulling away because I'm not sure what to think of him. I had a funny feeling he was trying to hard to just please me. Like force me to think everything is on the up and up. Well why would you have to if everything is? Why force something that should already be natural? Every heard of being to perfect? Seems too good to be true? Yeah I now know what people mean by that. It's not like i didn't like him as a person I did alot...but its all to fast for me..slow down...stop pushing...man alot of yall know how I am. I told him and gave him clues but....he dun wan hear it...thinking I'm being icey and ish. I'm left to wonder why men are after me and what are they after. Well...I think that for all except one.


He just...wanted a friend you know...he just got through a hard relationship and was a poet. So me and X both knew him from when he joined. That was like 8 months ago. Now 8 months later something...is brewing between us. I'm not sure what it is but it's cool because no walls are up.
See I found out something about me....if I think it's game...walls jump up high. But if a man come at me with no agenda...walls stay down. Me and him never thought about each other like this and now suddenly its like....o wowzers. He called me these cute lil pet names today and i damn there fell out my chair hit the floor and died. Who would have seen this wild shit? I'm finding out so much more about him it's crazy. I guess slow and steady wins the race. He didn't come at me with the omg you so pretty ma why you single...he just came to me broken and his words just had me like damn..this dude is in some pain. Friend for like a min...even through his whole battle with his..."chick". I was hurt cuz I didn't know till he told me but as a friend I'm like well shit that don't change shit. I guess I must have made the right move because months later they parted ways and now he's checking for me and I'm checking for him. Gosh. What the fuck is going on? Am I feeling someone? Could this be after months of staying to myself that someone...indeed snuck the fuck in without me looking and got me in a big ole hug? I'm not sure what to say guys...I think I have a crush.
*blankface* man this is just wild for me.