Well....

After another convo where yet again...
old news being rehashed and dealt with..

I'm left with a headache and just...
needing my peace to come back fast...

I shouldn't have agreed to speak but maybe this will be the last time that I have to attempt to explain things
that are still being unheard and ignored...

I can no longer attempt to speak and prove I loved him in any form of way...


Even my sorries don't count.. i guess they are not being said in the way you want them... but for whatever it is.. I'm sorry for breaking your heart.

and will continue to feel some sort of way about it.. .which is a reason why I just want peace...

I 'wishing for it but somehow because you are still bitter about everything you are unwilling to just drop things and accept it for what it is... and its ok.. ill be around when you ready....
Look... we had something... still something...
but I have to be true to me and if I know that even though t th love is there
I' not in love with you... love you.. but not in love with you

My heart doesn't cry anytime I get a slight feel of longing..
I'm not smiling at just thinking about the small little things that you do
No I'm not more than willing to give myself to you and trust that things will be ok
because you are that man that will handle biz

I can't give my all to someone who I know I'm not going to continue to be faithful to.

I will cheat....
and keep doing it because there is a void that need to be filled...
could be filled by just living for self... new adventures.. or maybe someone else...
but I do know that whatever it is....
whatever may happen....

I refuse to go back to everything just because you feel you have no peace with things.... I'm still dealing with alot of my own issues and things that are wrong with me...
but no longer seeking acceptance by you nor the conform into whatever it is that you cal a relationship....


Really....

whatever it is... like it be....

let it be.....

just let it....