It Is What It Is

I was
I am
more than just another face in the crowd.
I'm something and everything you wouldn't want me to be and can't really believe that I am. I'm also anything that those who I love would want me to be to a certain degree until I'm too fucking hot to even cool myself down and I boil over with emotions and claims to hate everything that you have tried to make me to be.

Understand...
since birth odds have been against me...
Granny said fight back and drop kick the shit outta luck because pride and the will to fight is th only way you are going to make it in this lifetime. And well shit I've been trying hard to run about NY an get mine and make moves to be better and become everything she said I would be but how the fuck can I be me with pole who claim they care and love me for me yet can't understand half the shit I do?

This means you too (for my loved ones who reading)

Shit I've been Candice before any of you
And shall be Candice after an not a motherfucker on earth will change that about ME.
But sometimes I get tired of the constant struggle and just need a soul who can really understand me...

understand me..like...this is who she is and will be forever and all I can do is love her... all of her.. not just parts...

But my wishes seems to go ignored as I continue to allow those who love me the most hurt me in many ways at different times damaging whatever god I hold in my heart

and for some reason
they are always trying to bring me down....